I think the ultimate act of kindness from Christ in the gospel narrative is when he prays for those who are his executioners. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

In marriage, kindness not only involves a willingness to forgive but also an overall readiness to enhance the life of your spouse because of your own deep inner security that comes from the Lord’s favor and approval.

I see so many couples today who are extremely competitive with one another. They are unable to rejoice in the successes of the other. Kindness also enables you to give space for the uniqueness of your spouse and not try to change them to be more like you.

This character quality involves a self-control based on a living faith in God’s over-ruling providence.  It is above petty resentment and revenge.  It has a positive task – doing good – and finds the task allows little time for the coddling of wounded feelings and the self-assertiveness of a sharp temper.

Without kindness in your relationship, your marriage won’t last. Here are some ways to check up on yourself to see how kind you are in your marriage

·       You say “yes” a lot more than “no” when your spouse asks for a favor or for help.

·       You are willing to share that last piece of pie or cookie because being kind is being generous.

·       You don’t interrupt your spouse.

·       You are polite and say “please” and “thank you” when speaking to your spouse.

·       You don’t think it is old fashioned to open a heavy door for your spouse or to share your jacket if your mate is shivering.

·       You show respect for your mate.

·       You let your spouse know how much he/she is appreciated.

·       You don’t roll your eyes when your spouse says something you disagree with or something you think is trivial or boring.

·       You routinely look for the good in your spouse.

·       You are helpful.

·       You don’t allow unkind comments to flow from your lips.

·       You make sure that your teasing is fun and not hurtful.